kaleidoscope

Voiceless, no sound breaking the dense blanket of a damp hot night.... the few dry words that escape torture my throat.
The need to talk to her is strong, make her understand.... but all i could offer is more pain.
i can hear myself trying to reshape the words to form a phrase that would cure it all, but this gives birth to a random clutter of noises that sum up to one thing only; i have failed her.
I breath in... I breath out. I breath in and blow clear white smoke into the thick evening air.
I look at the stars and through their sparkling beauty i can feel their anguish, so tiny and defenseless against the hungry stares of mortal men. I feel guilt of a thousand lives past condescending, i look away and find myself looking directly into her deep gray eyes.
"I'm sorry..." i begin to say, but now its her time to look away.
If only fate could be blamed one more time, if only each one of us was not his own personal monster, if only fear disappeared with the rise of the sun, then it might of endured..... but now it is over and all i have left are her dead flowers lying in the trunk of my car.